I’m not entirely sure why – especially since I own a Vita and work from home – but I’ve been spending a lot of time gaming on my Android phone here and there. It got me thinking, what are some badass games to play in your downtime on a phone. Sometimes I forget to take my Vita in the bathroom with me while I’m taking a shit, or it’s sitting in the living room when my wife makes me cuddle with her in bed. That’s why it’s always great to have a few games handy on your phone – for those moments where you just need to game.

Naturally, I decided to start a new monthly series listing five Android games that are worth playing. I’m not going to get too in-depth with these games, so don’t look at these as full reviews. However, I will talk about what I like best with each game and what parts fucking suck. I’ll do my best to keep quality games listed, but keep in mind this is a mobile device we’re talking about so some might have IAP or ads. I hate both of those things with a passion, so if they end up being obtrusive I won’t even bother listing the game. For the most part, these will be free games unless they are relatively cheap or on sale.

Right, now that’s out of the way let’s get started bitches, shall we?

My Top Five Android Games for September

Since this is the first entry in the series, some of these games might be older – that is to say they weren’t exactly released this month. That’s okay, because I have a feeling a lot of the games I’m going to cover in the future won’t be brand new.

Block Fortress

Spider-Man Unlimited

Let me just start this off by saying I usually find these endless running games fucking stupid. I like having a little more interaction with in-game characters or playing a bigger role, which is probably why I love RPGs so much. In this particular genre, you’re on rails and the games generally run for you. Your interactions are limited to dodging, jumping attacking or some combination thereof as you run down a predetermined track.

That said, I absolutely adore Spider-Man Unlimited and I’m quite addicted. Out of the gate you’ll notice there is IAP, advertisements and the game regularly bothers you to post a review to Google Play – although if you do it early on it will leave you alone. Like most free to play games you have a set number of lives (5), after which you need to wait until they replenish over time before you can continue playing. You can, however randomly add weirdos from the leaderboards to send you energy and vice versa. In this respect it’s like a lot of “Ville” Facebook games.

Spider-Man Unlimited drew me in with the customization aspects. As you complete runs, your characters – different versions of Spider-Man from alternate dimensions – will level up. For each Spider-Man persona you’re given a card. There are common, uncommon and rare versions of these cards which can level up to different caps. For example a common can only level up to 30, after you’ve ranked it up to the max limit. A rare card can level up to 50, though provided you have the right cards.

To rank up cards, you must have an identical copy of a card and two lower level cards – that makes three total. You can summon new cards from a portal with collectibles. You get one free summon per day, and you can buy more by simpling collecting 2500 vials during your runs. You can also use ISO-8 – Spider-Man Unlimited’s form of in-game currency – to buy more summons and in-game power-ups. You can also earn ISO-8 by completing various objectives and defeating unique enemies.

There are also a couple different modes of play which helps keep things interesting. You can play the story mode, endless running mode or participate in world events. Either way, you’re still running your ass off as one of dozens – if not hundreds – of different Spider-Men.

For a free game it’s pretty damn addicting, and there’s a bunch of content. The best part is that I’m pretty damn far, and I’ve never dished out so much as a cent. If it sounds at all interesting to you, then you might as well go install it and try it out – it is free, after all.

Super Monkey Ball Bounce

I fucking love Peggle. It’s such a simple game, but it’s so much godamn fun. That’s exactly why I was able to get past Super Monkey Ball Bounce’s shortcomings, because for all intents and purposes it’s a full-on Peggle clone.

The biggest problem with SMBB is that it throws video advertisements at you after you complete each level. Luckily, you don’t have to wait long before you can skip them – the time varies from about three to fifteen seconds tops – but they are still there, so you can be the judge of how much it sucks. You can remove the ads for a price, or more specifically after you spend your first set of “Monkey Gold,” which is SMMB’s in-game currency. Godamn this proprietary currency bullshit!

Anyway, you can purchase more monkey gold with real money if you run out, or you can watch ads. You can also purchase power-ups with your monkey gold or you can win them in a daily slot mini-game.

To be honest though, you really don’t need any of that shit because the game plays exactly like Peggle. You just need to take out the designated pegs on each level with a pinball and you’re good to go. If you fail a level you lose a life, but they regenerate over time so if you fuck up real bad you can just put your phone down for a little bit and then come back to it.

Even with the ad pop-ups, I beat every level in the game. Now, I’m going back through trying to perfect my score on each level. That should give you some idea as to how addictive it is. Oh, and did I mention it’s free?

Quest of Dungeons

This game ain’t free, but it’s only $1.99 and I feel it is well worth the cost. Right now, it’s also available in the Humble Bundle: PC and Android 11 if you beat the average (the offer will expire on 10/6/2014). Legends of Yore was a free pixel-based roguelike for Android that I ended up loving so much I bought it – there was a premium version that removed ads and added a few new features. Quest of Dungeons is a lot like Legends, but it’s better in almost every way. It’s also worth noting that Quest of Dungeons is available to play on PC through Steam, if you’d rather go that route.

If you don’t like turn based roguelike games presented in 8-bit pixel animation, then you’re probably not going to like Quest of Dungeons so move along. Otherwise, it’s a pretty badass game especially for mobile devices.

There are four classes to choose from: warrior, wizard, assassin or shaman. All dungeons and weapons are procedurally generated so the experience is different each time you play. There are tons of quests, boss encounters, leveling mechanics, shops, and loot. There is perma-death though, so if you’re a pussy go play something else.

Block Fortress

It’s Minecraft meets tower defense and it’s fucking badass. That’s all you need to know. Oh, and it’s only $1.99.

Lionheart Tactics

This game is a turn-based tactical strategy RPG similar to Final Fantasy Tactics, Tactics Ogre, Jean D’Arc, Gungnir or Fire Emblem. What’s really cool about it is that it’s scaled incredibly well for mobile in that the controls are accessible and the learning curve isn’t steep. In some of those other games it can take you a while before you’re coming up with some amazing strategies because you need to get used to the game mechanics first.

LT also gets the freemium thing right, which is rare.