In order to drive more and more “brand new” game sales, developers and publishers have been coming up with more and more ways to entice us into pre-ordering or buying special editions. A lot of the time, it’s 20 bucks here or maybe an extra 50 – 70 bucks on top to get a figurine, in-game content and more. Games like BioShock Infinite, Assassin’s Creed, Halo and more have all employed this tactic over the years and often the pack-ins are quite nice. Of course, if any title were going to outdo all the rest, it’d have to be Saints Row IV, wouldn’t it?

WADWAD

For those that have $1,000,000 to casually spend on a video game, Koch Media have some pretty interesting bonuses that even a Third Street Saint would be happy with. With a name like “Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition”, you’d think that this package has to be pretty fucking bad-ass, right? Well, take a look at the contents breakdown below to see how bad-ass this fucker really is:

  • Saints Row IV : Commander in Chief Edition
  • A full sized replica Dubstep Gun
  • A full day of spy training
  • A trip to space with Virgin Galactic
  • One year’s membership of E25 Super Car Club and a Lamborghini Gallardo to make it worthwhile
  • Plastic Surgery of the purchaser’s choice
  • A shopping spree with a personal shopper to create the ultimate Planet Saints capsule wardrobe
  • 7 nights for two at The Jefferson Hotel in Washington
  • Hostage rescue experience
  • A brand new Toyota Prius and insurance to give something back to the environment
  • 7 nights stay in the Top Royal Suite at the Burj-al-arab with flights for two

I’m not so sure what the Toyota Prius is doing here – after all, saving the planet is done with guns, bitches and hos, not eco-friendly cars from the future. GAME UK and Deep Silver have put this bad mother together – with Kock Media’s massive bankroll, of course – and there is, unfortunately, only one available. Say what you will about Special Editions but this…this is just…fucked up.

SaintsRow4

Of course, this is only really a publicity stunt, in which Deep Silver and Koch Media have definitely scored themselves some points. Maybe one or two. In fact, this edition is so misguided that I’m just waiting for some washed-up celebrity to buy this and “unbox” it on MTV for a whole season’s worth of episodes. Oh no wait, that’s Teen Mom 3: Super Dangerous Nappy Edition. 

I’m probably in the minority here but, I actually like special editions of games. I actively dislike exclusivity but, what’s wrong with throwing in the odd figurine or artwork for the game? After all, with distribution going digital at an alarming rate physical games might soon become something of a novelty. Like those piles of paper stuck together with “covers”. For those that have $1,000,000 just laying around, gathering dust, burning holes, “accruing interest” then head on over to GAME UK to get the skinny and place the best order you’ll ever place in whole goddamn life! Or you know, put your sensible hat and forget I said anything.